I was exhausted and emotional and tired of sewing, and I saw no end in sight.
I sat at my sewing machine, and Ben sat at the desk behind me, and we listened to Pandora and shared the same space. And my shoulders shook, and I cried quietly (I’ve become pretty good at that over the past year) and wondered aloud how sewing T-shirts was going to bring our child home when the total to raise kept increasing as the months passed ($27,000 to $30,000 to eventually $35,000). Sewing appliques on T-shirts that made about $10-12 apiece just didn’t seem like it was going to make much difference.
And my husband, the gentle strength and steadiness that he is, said to me, “loaves and fishes.” And in the quiet hours of the night Ben repeated all of the things our Provider had done over the months, all the ways He had multiplied the tiny things we had to offer, and I knew he was right, and we laughed, and I, of course, cried some more, and Our Redeemer’s promises filled our little space with peace at midnight.
About 21 months ago, we stunned our parents by telling them that we were going to adopt, it was going to cost about $27,000, and the only plan we had to pay for it was to use some of our savings and to fundraise for the rest of the money. I wish I had a picture so I could show you (and them) the looks they tried hard to hide on their faces. I knew they were scared for us. I was scared too.
At the end of August 2012, when asked if we wanted a referral for a child — “YES! Please! Of course!!!” — we realized it would mean we would have to raise the remaining $20,000 in about 6-8 months (you can find that story here).
It seemed impossible. There were moments that doubt filled my mind and I thought, “No, it just can’t be done. We will have to wait for another child when we have a little more money raised.” But my husband, with faith much greater than my mustard seed, believed and repeated the past of God’s faithfulness to me (once again), and so I followed his lead and my God filled me up with a peace and a faith that I knew I wasn’t capable of. We offered our loaves and fishes (our time, our abilities, our energy, our little bit of resources), and we were overwhelmed with all of you who joined us and offered up your loaves and fishes too. And our Lord multiplied it.
My Savior who fed the five thousand with five loaves and two fishes said to us, “I can do this too.”
And He did it.
With time to spare.
Thank you seems so inadequate. But we are so glad you are walking this journey with us. So grateful you are partnering with us. So blessed you offered what you had. If we had any money left, we would throw a party to celebrate with you. But truthfully the real celebration is still a few months away.
All that is left to do now is wait.
I’m going to be honest, waiting really stinks.
Waiting alone stinks even more.
So… as if we haven’t already asked enough of you, we would like to ask one more tiny thing: would you wait beside us and continue in praying our Aida home?